The Worth of Seoul: Week 49

Dearest loved ones, hello again! Wow that was fast!

This past week was a good one. We saw some good things happen, had some discouragements as usual, but maintained a positive attitude.. And really I think that's what its all about! Yesterday was one of those discouraging days for me. I don't have these days very often.. but sometimes everything just seems to pile up at one. I have these days where I feel like I'm not helping anyone, I'm not good at Korean, I'm not good at following the spirit.. But I've found that the only way to get through it is to KEEP WORKING, and KEEP COUNTING MY BLESSINGS. I realized that even when I feel like I'm not helping anyone, I am. I am helping myself, my companion, our mission as a whole.. by being obedient and doing what I'm supposed to I do more good than I think I'm doing.. So why do I ever need to worry? Sheesh, get this into your head Sister Holmes ya weirdie!

I think something that may have added to the discouragement yesterday was the fact that Jeong Sung Kyong didn't keep her promise to come to church yesterday. We saw so much progress with her this week.. We met with her every single day. Her faith is growing as she slowly exercises it more and more. She was able to go a few days this last week without drinking, which is a huge improvement. She is slowly weening herself off those things that she knows is wrong. She opened up to us and told us some things about her past when we went over the baptismal interview questions with her, she had an abortion some years ago. We know she feels so horrible about it and wants to be freed from that nasty guilt she feels about it. So it will be a little while before we can give her a date. She has a lot of things she needs to overcome, including her own doubt about Joseph Smith and a living prophet today. But she is changing and becoming more and more open each time we meet with her. Well we met with her on Saturday and she told us that a friend from Seoul would be coming to see her that night, and she said there might be drinking. Well, we said DON'T DO IT. If you choose now, it won't be hard in the moment. Well she wouldn't commit to choosing but she said she would try. As you can guess, the next day she didn't come to church. She wouldn't answer our phonecalls. She texted us last night saying she was still with this man that came to visit her from Seoul so that is why she wasn't able to go to church. I felt so upset! We had seen so much progress in her this last week spiritually.. and then she throws it all away because someone is taking her back into her comfort zone of the things that used to bring her happiness. I felt so cheated on. I thought I'd learned a thing or two about patience on my mission so far.. but this just proved to me that I have a long way to go. All we can do is keep inviting, keep supporting, keep testifying.. helping her to find that desire to TRULY change her life.. Not just when it's convenient.

Well off that debbie downer note... Book of Mormon!!! I can't explain the love I have for my personal study time every day. I love the Book of Mormon so much. I just started reading 3 Nephi.. This morning I read chapters 3-5 and I picked up on a process of preparation displayed by the Lachoneous and the nephites in preparing for battle against Giddianhi and the lamanites.

1. They cry unto the Lord for strength. Then acknowledge their need for His help, that they can't do it without Him.

2. They take action!! They don't wait for anything, Lachoneus sends out a proclamation, they start fortifying their cities and provisions. They do all they can do prepare.

3. They repent and forsake their sins! They humble themselves and they continue in faithful prayer.

Now applying this to my life.. this is a pattern that I can apply to myself as a missionary, and to any situation that requires preparation. Pray for his help. Do all I can, exercise my faith. Pray some more, better myself. All the while keeping an attitude of gratitude.

Man I love the scriptures so much. I just want every person I meet to feel this way too!!!

Sorry if this was a lamish email heh! Well I love you all! I love this work. Love Korea. I just love it all.

Sister Holmes

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